Friday, February 26, 2010

Kissy Face and Tongue Wagging

Lydia has been doing some funny things lately.. She keeps making a kissy face and it's pretty adorable. She makes us laugh constantly. This is the best I could catch on camera.

Lydia has also been wagging her tongue from side to side. Usually she makes sound with it but this time she whispered for some reason. Still funny :) It's amazing how much more aware she is every day. I keep thinking that same thing as she's grown and I keep becoming more and more amazed and she develops.

Friday, February 19, 2010

February Blues

This is what I want it to look like outside. I'm tired of the blues and grays, blech. I want to wear something besides my boring coats. I want color, life, sunshine, and warmth! I say to the world

Monday, February 15, 2010


Being a strange psychology graduate, I often find myself analyzing emotions, the effect they have, where they come from, and the meaning behind them. One I think a lot about is love. In honor of Valentines day I tried to post a blog with pictures while also discussing my thoughts on the concept of love. It wasn't really working. The problem is, I have too many questions and thoughts about love and so I am dedicating this entire post to my "love thoughts."

In reading about love, science claims that it is a dopamine chemical in the brain that is released that causes you to feel a feeling of need, thereby that "I love you" sensation. When I read this I also wonder, if it is all happening in the brain, why is love associated with your heart?

The answer to that question is that when most people feel love, they feel a tightening sensation in the chest, where the heart is. That makes it easy to say "in my heart I love him" because of the tightening in the heart. However, your heart doesn't really do any thinking or decision making at all. So I also wonder, why DO we feel a tightening in our hearts? Why is the sensation in our chest? Is it the heart that is so special or is the brain making my heart feel tight from the chemical release?

Have you ever heard someone say they love someone so much it hurts? Well I had and I thought I knew what that meant. Thinking about losing my husband makes me feel physical pain and I just thought that was it. However, the other day I went to get my daughter out of the car and she reached her hand out to me and my heart squeezed so tight it hurt. I could just feel how much I love her and I was taken aback. My chest stayed tightened with the painful love sensation for quite some time and I felt a desperation to always have her with me no matter what. I thought about that the rest of the day. What happened that made it so that my heart was being squoozed so much it ached? Why did it happen in my heart if it was a chemical reaction in my brain? Why didn't I feel dizzy or something like that instead? What is happening in my chest and what is causing it?

What makes it so that mothers instantaneously love from the moment they conceive for all eternity? When a person falls in love he/she is drawn to certain characteristics in another person that are deemed good and wanted. However, a mother knows few of the characteristics of the child being carried in the womb because they have never met in this life. How does that love happen?

Also, what makes one person drawn to another so that they feel that feeling of romantic love? A person can have all the characteristics I think are wonderful but I do not feel a feeling of need and undying devotion. My heart doesn't swell up with romantic love everytime I meet someone wonderful. What causes that romantic aspect of love? Why is it different for every person?

I could go on and on and on because I think about this often- it's fun for me. My one final thought is that I believe we will never be able to understand everything about love because it is a gift from God. That's why He can love perfectly, because love is from Him. The Savior embodies love and because love is godly, science will never be able to explain all of its complexities. I have always loved strongly and deeply and I'm greatful for this gift. Perhaps that's why I love Valentines Day, a day to celebrate love. Now everyone has some food for thought. We'll all be laying down wondering why we love the people we love :)

Pretty in Pink

Well one of my favorite holidays rolled around- Valentines Day! I love pink and I love my family and I love celebrating love :) It was Lydia's first Valentines Day and I went picture crazy so enjoy.

Lydia in her "baby's 1st Valentine's Day" bib and in her pretty pink dress.

We took a family picture and it turned out pretty decent. I just love us all in pink!

Me and my baby :)

The two loves of my life!

Lydia's playing with her Valentine's present, reading a book, being adorable, crying because I told her no, and being her usually crazy and wild self. Oh she makes me laugh.

And no, we did not let Lydia eat these cupcakes. I just wanted to see her reaction. She ate about 1/3 of one as a Valentine's day treat. Btw, what you see here is what Brigham and I couldn't finish. The cupcakes were just SO BIG!

This year's Valentines day was pretty awesome. I handed out jungle animal cards with tattoos and red-velvet-cake cupcakes with white frosting and pink sprinkles. I got Brigham Subway and wrote him a letter of all the things I like about him. He got me chocolate, flowers, and made me a DELICIOUS dinner. Lydia just got a dollar store Valentine's day bear key chain that she likes. I hope everyone celebrated their love for each other and enjoyed such a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Like Mother Like Daughter

Recently I reorganized our apartment a little bit and I was able to make a little play spot in the corner of the living room for Lydia. It wasn't my initial intention for the spot to be Lydia's corner, it was more just a corner to put all her stuff in, but Lydia made it that way. This is something I would do- grow attached to the corner my belongings are- which also made me think about a few other similarities Lydia and I have.

This is Lydia pointing at me in front of her new little corner. Her favorite thing to do right now is point.

Not only do I love my own "corners" but I love forts and cozy places like Lydia has created under her jumper. Also I LOVE to read.... and so does Lydia. Lydia will be entertained for hours if someone will read her books. She also will read them to herself. She turns the pages, points to pictures and babbles. Not only is it adorable, but she rarely will play with other toys now. She always is just carrying around her books. She's due to be a readaholic like her mother.

This picture was taken by Lydia's Aunt Caitlin. Lydia has flushed cheeks and looks so miserable because she had an extremely high fever due to a virus she had. Guess who got it too... yep, Mommy! Whenever Lydia is sick, Mommy gets sick. Whenever Mommy gets sick, so does Lydia. Lucky Daddy never gets sick because he's never home. We just share so much :).

Oh and this picture is just because she's so adorable :)

A couple other things that we have in common include...

The love of the Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack.. Everytime it comes on Lydia is mezmorized. It calms us both down.

We both love Daddy very very much!

People say we share similar eyes.

We LOVE chocolate (then again what woman doesn't?!) Lydia throws THE biggest tantrum if I start giving her chocolate and then stop. I also do the same when the chocolate ends. It gets ugly.
Neither of us prefer a lot of physical affection. Not cuddlers. Now again Lydia likes being held but otherwise she likes her space. I am the same way!
We both love being outside.
Lydia loves me and I love her. We both get big silly grins when we see each other, and that's why I talk about her so much. She's a part of me and I'm a part of her and I'll always treasure the time she was all mine. I'm so glad to have her forever. She's my baby!